


Hockey Morning in Mitakihara

by shacklesburst



Category: Hockey RPF, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Hockey, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Humor, and madoka's absolutely still a concept, but she's also the most powerful being in the universe, characters kind of ooc, damn i need a hockey anime so bad, just wait until the big reveal when you get to know who kyuubey's rooting for, so nobody will get in her way if she wants to see the habs ride it out on carey's back, sorry americans, suicide mention tw, they're still magical girls tho, yeah all the girls are into canadian clubs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-10 21:26:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8939938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shacklesburst/pseuds/shacklesburst
Summary: Yes, they might be magical girls first and foremost, but a little bit of entertainment and relaxation is exactly what a soul gem needs at the end of a stressful week. So imagine the surprise when one Sunday morning they're all lounging around at Mami's and Kyouko wants to connect her phone to the TV to open up GameCenter to watch her beloved Maple Leafs, everybody's like "wait, you're a puckhead as well?"After that reveal, there's a few more questions that will need answers: How will Kyouko's and Sayaka's budding relationship deal when the Battle of Ontario is on? What's Madoka's deal, coming down from her important Goddess duties just to watch Carey Price steal some games for the Habs? What's up with Homura's transformation from a casual watcher to an advanced stats geek in the span of about 50 seconds? And will Mami's Vancouver Canucks finally win over Lord Stanley's favor one day?





	1. Sunday, October 15th, 2016

The band of four slowly entered Mami's apartment after a night of demon hunting. The sun was already coming up on the horizon, but at least it was a Sunday, so there was no school for those of them that still attended, and Kyouko had first dropped out years ago, after the … unpleasantness with her family. Even after recent developments, she'd probably not earn extra credits for attendance anytime soon.

A large group of demons had spawned in the Mitakihara financial district at about 2300 the night before, surprising Kyouko and Sayaka on their patrol route. The fact that they hadn't been paying much attention, having been … preoccupied with each other at the time, certainly hadn't helped any. They'd both flared their magic, hoping the other two of their group would notice, but it had gotten dicey by the time Mami and Homura had finally shown up. A group of four magical girls had taken almost five hours wiping out the whole group! Nobody wanted to think about what could’ve happened to the innocent office workers once business started again on Monday.

 _Just as well_ , Kyouko thought. _At least there'll be no shortage of grief cubes for a while._

Taking in a fourth girl really had made the daily struggle a little easier for all of them in the last few months. Sure, the first few weeks had been brutal -- until she’d gotten some experience under her belt, the three veteran girls had needed to watch Sayaka almost as much as their own backs. That was the beauty of a group like theirs, though: Once a girl survived the first few months, she was almost bound to make it a year -- and maybe more than that, if she was careful and didn't go out alone too much. All three vets (previously known as the 'Mitakihara Three', probably soon to be succeeded by something as imaginative as the 'Mitakihara Four'), surprisingly, had long since outlived the general life expectancy of a magical girl.

In the same timeframe, the group up in Ito had replaced all their members twice over. They ought to help them out sometimes, but, even though Kyouko had, with more than a little prodding by Sayaka, renounced some of her more selfish philosophy, she still wasn't comfortable with taking a risk like that for people she hardly knew. She wasn't even sure the vet who had been leading the Ito group two months ago was still alive. Kyouko was already calling the girl – what had been her name again? Something ridiculously sweet like Miko or something … – a vet, even though she′d had hardly more than six months fighting experience on the others in her group. A little like calling 22 year old Morgan Rielly a vet on the Blue-and-White … and not even being entirely wrong about that, considering how young a roster the Leafs were putting forth this season.

Kyouko smiled a little to herself, thinking back to last Thursday and how her _other_ team had managed to make history and still lose. A rookie. With four goals in his first game. Unreal. And in classic Leafs fashion, still losing in OT. Then a chill ran through her spine. Wasn't today Sunday?

When she looked at the clock above Mami's door, she almost did a double take. It was just after 0900 in the morning. On a Sunday! The Leafs were playing the Bruins on Hockey Night in Canada (or, as Kyouko liked to call it, Hockey Morning in Mitakihara)! And it was their home opener on top of that! Even running and transformed she’d never make it home before puck drop, especially not in what was, by now, broad daylight. She had to be 'as inconspicuous as possible, Sakura-san,' as Homura liked to remind her.

She'd never told anybody about this 'guilty pleasure' of hers, not even Sayaka. Kyouko wasn't quite sure why she kept it a secret, as hockey wasn't huge in Japan anyways; something like this probably wouldn't have been enough to prompt even Homura into raising a single eyebrow. Mysteriously, they'd also never really clashed on game time. Sayaka just didn't come up with things to do on a Sunday morning. Kyouko thought it probably had to do with her love of sleeping in until lunch time -- at least, taking into account how she usually acted when she was staying over at Kyouko's on Saturdays. Of course, the redheaded magical girl would've loved to sleep in on Sundays as well, but there just were some things that it was evidently worth getting up for.

″Why are you looking like you're about to bounce on us but aren't quite sure if you really wanna do it?″ Sayaka asked from her place on the couch to Kyouko's left side. Ordeals like last night's still took more out of her than the others, so the younger girl had almost immediately fallen face down on Mami's couch, only to turn her head later on to watch the expressions playing across her girlfriend's face.

With a small sigh, Kyouko pushed herself up from the floor, biting off the almost soggy part of the Pocky stick still in her mouth.

 _Look at me, even forgetting food already placed in my mouth_. _Just because I broke a routine I started not even two years ago. I'm really getting old. The others are probably already thinking about putting my sixteen-year-old ass into a home soon._

″Mami, can I use your TV?″ the redhead asked, not looking in Sayaka's direction or answering her question.

″Sure.”

Mami paused.

“It's unlike you to actually ask, if you excuse me saying so. Have you suddenly grown fond of Saturday morning children's anime? Whatever could’ve sparked this sudden interest in the younger generation's pastimes?″ Mami asked, with a pointed look at Sayaka, not so unsubtly needling her compatriot and letting Kyouko know her continued displeasure with breaking with the role of 'untouchable sempai' barely a week after Sayaka had contracted. And if that hadn't been enough, she’d started a serious relationship with the younger girl a few days later.

Sayaka sputtered at that, turning bright red at that comment. Sayaka would surely have done something to defend Kyouko, like the knight in shining armor she still imagined herself to be, if Kyouko hadn't beaten her to the punch: ″Let it go. And for your information, Saturday morning was yesterday. It's Sunday. And on Sunday morning, I usually watch Hockey Night in Canada.″

She’d said the last part quietly, but Kyouko still hadn't expected the stunned silence that followed. Sayaka had risen from her face-down position on the couch onto her knees. Homura, being neatly seated at the table with a cup of tea in her hand, snapped her head around to the clock, staring at it with wide open eyes. Kyouko could almost hear the cogs turning in her head.

″Oh, _fuck_ , I lost track of time!″ she exclaimed, in a decidedly un-Homura-like fashion.

Then, as if they’d rehearsed in advance, three voices roared at Kyouko.

″The Sens are playing in a few minutes!″

″The Nucks are playing in a few minutes!″

″The Habs are playing in a few minutes!″

Mami had turned on the TV and opened the GameCenter app before anybody could process that, but while it was loading they all stilled and stiffly looked at each other. Sayaka eventually broke the silence.

″So I guess you learn something new about other people every day ...″

The other three girls leveled their gazes on Kyouko again.

″I didn't catch who you're following, actually.″

Homura, the same Homura who had just declared that the Habs were gonna play soon, asked. Without so much as missing a beat, Kyouko looked over to her girlfriend on the left, who moments ago came out as a Sens supporter. Looking her right in the eye, a whispered ″Go, Leafs, Go″ still made it into the superhumanly keen ears of all those around her.

Sayake faceplanted into the pillow in front of her again with a muffled cry. ″Oh my god, of all things … it had to be the Leafs, didn't it.″

Mami just let loose a short, barking laugh, not at all in line with her usual persona of the wise but approachable upperclassman. Actually, it was much more in line with the battle-hardened child soldier senior officer mask she didn’t often use. Even Homura seemed hard-pressed to hide a smile.

Ha! Let them smile! The Blue-and-White would show them, sooner or, more likely, a little later at least. Thursday was still fresh on Kyouko's mind, after all. Sayaka emerged from the pillow again.

″Please promise me you won't plaster everything with their garish colors now that the 'secret' is out.″

″Do I have to remind you of our color schemes in costume,″ Kyouko deadpanned.

With a muffled scream, Sayaka was back in the pillow, murmuring about how she'd ″never get that picture out of my head again″ and ″why did it have to been blue and white″ and ″I hope this doesn't have any bearing on my actual soul.″ Kyouko was glad Sayaka took most of it in good humor, but … wait, were those tears on her face? Kyouko sincerely hoped she was home alone once her new jersey finally arrived in Japan. The shipping alone had cost a pretty penny, and one couldn't be too careful with a slightly unstable girlfriend. Kyouko awkwardly put a hand on Sayaka's shoulder.

″C'mon, it's gonna be okay. You beat us in your home opener, didn't you?″

The Sens had basically played against one guy, and still almost lost. Kyouko didn’t voice that thought out aloud, though.

Lightly sniffing, Sayaka looked up, starting to smile again. ″Yeah, I guess we did.″

″That's great. Just don't think that's gonna be a theme in the coming years. You're looking at a team of upcoming Stanley Cup champions after all!″

″Oh just dream on. Didn't _somebody_ almost finish with _67_ points last season?″

Scandalized, Kyouko made a face.

″Oh, you did _not_.″

Mami's voice broke up the small fight. In her honest opinion, it probably was impossible to find two people more worthy of the ″Good Ontario Girl″ moniker. Don Cherry would be proud.

And then they even found each other. In her apartment, no less! She thought back to having stumbled upon them here, away from the prying eyes of Sayaka's family. Not away from the poor blonde's eyes. And that even though Kyouko had gotten an apartment of her own by then! No respect for the pretty (and _innocent_ ) flowery vases that decorated Mami’s humble abode!

All the while Nick Kypreos had been talking in the background. Whatever. They could sort out the team dynamics later.

″Girls! It's starting!″

While Kyouko and Sayaka had been discussing things, the app had finished loading on the big HD screen.

Of course, to Mami herself, it was only a game. Yes, she owned more than one game-worn jersey, and various memorabilia, and some signed figurines, and maybe some of the harder-to-get collector's items, and she might, at times, pray upon her game-played puck signed by Trevor Linden, her all-time favorite, Captain Canuck himself. But that didn't mean she wasn't anything more than a casual fan in her free-time! And now she'd almost broken her record of watching every Nucks game live since the lockout. Totally casual. She should really get a jersey for watching. It just wouldn’t be right to go without. Her musings were interrupted by another important question that would need to be addressed fast.

″So which game are we going to watch?″ Homura asked.

″Well, the Senators of course,″ Sayaka said Then her face fell. She hadn't ever expected to come upon this problem. She thought all her friends and future boyfriends … well, or girlfriends … would naturally share her objectively correct opinion, that the Ottawa Senators were the best team in existence, and the one and only acceptable choice. Sadly, her current companions were not of the same opinion. Mami and Kyouko looked at her as if she had just grown a second head.

″Maybe put the Canadiens/Senators game in big, as it's the game Miki-san and I are interested in, and do a split screen for the Leafs and Canucks games?″ Homura offered again.

″Won't the commentators be indecipherable that way?″

″It's all in English anyway, so who cares,″ Sayaka said.

″I speak English very well, thank you very much,″ Kyouko answered indignantly.

″I'm usually following the French stream. I'm fluent as well,″ Homura said in her usual voice devoid of most emotion.

″I, too, usually get the gist of what they're saying. Enough so I know they're mostly wrong, anyways. And in picture-in-picture mode, only the sound for the biggest one is transferred.″

Sayaka just stared back, a faint blush spreading across her features. She was a strong student in most disciplines, but languages were not her forte. Kyouko took Sayaka’s hand.

″But I'm okay with split-screen, for now,″ she acquiesced.

Mami nodded as well, and soon all four girls had found places in front of Mami's thankfully big TV. Even the picture-in-picture games could be followed quite well.

″A good decision. Mind if I join you on this wonderful morning?″

A fifth voice had spoken up behind them. Kyouko was up before it had finished speaking, spear in hand and pointed at … a smallish girl with pink hair. A rival magical girl, perhaps? How had she gotten in here? Why could Kyouko still not sense her presence in that direction? Usually she could make out even normal humans that close. Mami already had one of her rifles trained at her as well, likely thinking something along the same lines.

Homura had whipped around as well, but she didn't have a weapon in hand; instead, her mouth was hanging open.

 _What’s going on here?!_ Kyouko sent telepathically to the others. She didn’t get an answer.

The girl just smiled cutely, even going so far as to close her eyes and bending her head to the side a little. She didn’t really look threatening, instead exuding calm confidence, and those were usually the people you had to watch out for.

″Who're you and how did you get in here? No funny business,″ Mami said, voice as threatening as a sixteen-year-old’s could be. Mami was a good teammate and a true veteran, and sometimes you could see that through the persona she wore on the outside. The redhead surely could come across as more brash, a delinquent even, but that generally tended not to impress people with an aura such as the new girl’s.

Kyouko’s eyes were drifting downward a little, and it only really registered to her then, but the girl was wearing a Habs jersey. A Galchenyuk one, if she remembered the numbers correctly. 27, right? It also was about five sizes too big and seemed high quality enough to not be a replica at all. The girl probably couldn’t do anything about the size -- she was just too small in general.

By now, even Sayaka beside them had just gotten up and materialized one of her swords – well, cutlasses, to be exact, Kyouko reminded herself, because Sayaka usually wasn't too happy with her whenever she disparaged her weapons as 'mere swords'.

″Oh, c'mon. Is that any way to greet your Goddess?″

The four could only stare (Homura’s mouth was still open and she hadn’t moved an inch the whole time) at that inane declaration. Who did that girl think she was?! The last time she had even heard the word goddess out of anybody’s mouth was when Homura had played that prank on them about different timelines and the most powerful magical girl to have ever lived in the end rewriting the universe …

… wait.

With that, the puck dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Significant inspiration derived from BasedWaifuBrettFavre's "Leave It On The Ice". Main ship is KyouSaya, with some hints of MadoHomu. They start out as fans, but with the rough rough outline I have right now, I think a pure MG league could be endgame. And I want to send the girls to Canada and meet their heroes of course (that's why it's a Hockey RPF xover instead of "just" a Hockey AU). Remember, the outline is very very rough.
> 
> Lots of the MG's abilities and background info are derived from Hieronym's massive "To The Stars", with the caveat that I've only ever watched the original anime and nothing else constitutes real canon for me. So no Oriko, no Yuma, no Kazumi etc. They die (well, they're Law of Cycle'd) if their soul gems are shattered or spent (not that I expect that to happen in this fic, but it isn't planned out much so who knows).
> 
> It's set during the 2016/17 season, starting on the first Hockey Night in Canada, with the events of the anime having transpired in March/April/May of the same year. Which means I won't be able to progress faster than the season, but hopefully that will provide me with plenty of time for filler with them skating and playing some shinny and such. (And also make me write to roughly stay on schedule.)
> 
> Expect chapters to be between ~2500 and ~5000 words. Originally I'd planned to post each Sunday in accordance with the theme of the fic, but ... we'll see how it goes.
> 
> If you're interested, and because it serves as a small plot point in this first chapter, Mitakihara in this story replaces the small city Higashiizu, a little south of Ito, in Shizuoka prefecture, about 3 hours from Tokyo by Shinkansen.
> 
> One of the most unrealistic features of this fic probably is the working, useful NHL GameCenter app.
> 
> Also, did everybody catch me calling Miki Sayaka "slightly unstable". I sincerely hope you did. I worked hard on that joke.
> 
> This is the first time I've engaged in any kind of creative, non-technical writing since more than four years ago. And the stuff I have from more than four years ago are mostly unfinished, unpublished oneshots. So please act as if this is my very first attempt at writing fic.
> 
> This first chapter was beta'd by eternalfarnham(.tumblr.com). Massive thanks for that, because getting through my writing can't have been easy. I'm currently unsure if I'm going to continue beta'ing this fic, because editing actually took quite a while and this is supposed to be a crack fic and those don't lose *that* much by being hard and fast. Maybe let me know what you'd prefer.
> 
> UPDATE 2017-04-14: Small change to first paragraph, to make it clear that Kyouko is enrolled at all the girl's school, but just skips all the time.


	2. Sunday, October 15th, 2016, pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suicide mention tw

The puck dropped.

And froze mid-drop. The world around them had lost all color and it was somehow clear to Kyouko that time had stopped. Her surroundings were eerily quiet and the formerly bright sun shining in through Mami's big windows had lost its color as well as much of its power. She could look right into the gray sun and it didn't even hurt. She was a little cold as well. Kyouko hadn't ever felt the cold since becoming a magical girl. Her body was just a marionette to be controlled by her soul gem, after all. (Well, if she was entirely honest, looking into the sun also didn't hurt, per se, but it _did_ put a small, but noticeable, strain on her magic. Even that far away, a powerful fusion reactor was still a match for magic. A thought one ought to always have stay at the back of their head.)

″Okay, I think we should go with the fast version, because we all want to watch our games, and, despite being more powerful when involved with magical girls, I probably shouldn't freeze time for too long. Hello. My name is Kaname Madoka. The story Homura told you all a few months ago, about a magical girl changing history with her wish, is true. That was me. I know every one of you, by the way. We were friends, once upon a time, but a few moments ago.″

The girl still smiled at them without a care in the world.

″It's hard to explain, why I only visit you now, and I'm incredibly sorry for that, but doing what I'm doing now, seems to take time even for beings living _outside_ time, so … like I said, hard to explain. We could say I worked out loopholes in my contract and working with those lets me meet you all again.″

Kyouko was still a little gobsmacked, but also impressed. Either that story actually checked out and they were really talking to a goddess or somebody had _really_ done their homework and had spied on them when Homura had told them that story _and_ had the powers to pull of a trick like this _and_ had some reason to do all that instead of just challenging them head-on. Something like that would require true dedication, and she was quite sure none of them had enemies who'd go quite _that_ far, just to create a false sense of security with them. So, all in all, Madoka's explanation was highly unlikely, but still more likely than any of the alternatives Kyouko could think of.

Meanwhile, Homura had closed her mouth and was slowly walking around the couch and towards the girl … towards Madoka. And then she hugged her. Just like that. Homura _never_ hugged _anybody_. Homura hardly ever touched _Mami_ , let alone the rest of their small group. Even Madoka seemed slightly taken aback for a split-second, but then settled in and hugged her back, whispering something into her ear.

Mami obviously had gotten back her bearings faster than Kyouko and asked: ″Akemi-san, everything okay?″

″Bravissimo.″

What were safewords for, right? They all visibly relaxed. Homura wasn't the most approachable girl in general, but her security assessments were nothing to sneeze at. If she was sure this was _the_ Madoka, then Kyouko believed her. And she would have to come to grips with the fact that a goddess had just expressed her intention to watch ice hockey with them. Well, stranger things had probably happened throughout history. She couldn't think of any, but … surely.

The room gained colors again and Kyouko could hear that the Senator's Brassard had won the opening face-off. That bastard. Without his goal, Ottawa would've played against one guy and still lost, last time.

Madoka just took everything in stride, it seemed, and had moved Homura and herself behind Mami's living room table so fast, Kyouko hadn't even been able to see them.

″Let't settle down for the time being, shall we? Explanations usually go much smoother when sitting around this table. I've experienced the effect first-hand,″ Madoka said, still smiling.

With a nod at Mami and Sayaka, Kyouko released her spear and transformed back into her normal attire, picking up an apple from the table and munching down on it. With powers like that against them, what good could _she_ do anyways? Kyouko wasn't a fatalist by any stretch, but she could see that they were helplessly outclassed by Madoka. Who, if it had come to a fight, would probably have had Homura on her side as well. As long as she seemed friendly, better to just watch the games and have a peaceful discussion while doing that. Mami, meanwhile, had proceeded to pour tea. She didn't pour for Madoka. Subtle.

Not being a confirmed enemy didn't make you worthy of having Mami's tea poured, after all.

Sayaka looked as though she had basically no idea what was going on, but at least she had de-transformed again as well. Kyouko pulled her down close. Kyouko trusted Homura's situation evaluations with her life, but that didn't mean she didn't feel at least a little uneasy looking at the small girl with the pink hair. Good thing she hadn't overreacted during Madoka's attack.

 _It wasn't actually an attack_ , Kyouko had to remind herself. Nonetheless, she flinched when Madoka suddenly reached out to the teapot and poured herself.

″Okay, let's assume for a moment we believe you, Madoka-san,″ Mami started, once the first commercials rolled past. ″Of course, I trust your judgment, Akemi-san, but you'll have to admit that even for us, a wish that turns you into a literal goddess seems a little far-fetched. Most wishes don't work out quite as one expects, after all.″

Having finished her apple, Kyouko solemnly nodded along, while searching in her bag of goodies for something new to munch on. Mami definitely didn't have to tell _her_ about wishes gone wrong. Her hand grabbed into something plasticky. A bag of gummy bears.

_Score!_

″We don't have to assume. You will believe me, eventually. It's not that far off, actually.″ Madoka smiled her eerie smile at them. It looked so genuine. How did she do it?

″I'm here because you're at a crossroads currently. Much is going to change in the coming years for magical girls all over Japan, and then, the world. You guys are at the center of this – positive! – change, and, I'm honestly just here to give you a nudge in the right direction.″

″So you randomly chose a day to reveal yourself to the world and set your big plans in motion?″

″In a way. I also wanted to watch Montreal beat somebody senseless while holding Homu-chan.″

There would be no argument against that from Homura, Kyouko hazarded a guess, watching the two snuggle into each other. Ryan Dzingel chose that moment to bury his own rebound in Al Montoya's net, at almost the same time as ″local boy″ Connor Brown came through for the Leafs. Madoka's and Homura's collective grown was easily drowned out by Kyouko's own exclamation of happiness. And even more so by Sayaka's little victory dance. Homura glared at her in a surprising twist of … normalcy? However much Kyouko didn't like being glared at, she was glad some things obviously never changed.

But soon enough, it was time for the first intermission. Nobody was really stoked about the usual crowd waxing about the games, so Mami turned down the volume. Up 3-1 after the 1st, Kyouko could live with that. Hopefully they didn't make it 4-1, because it was against the Bruins, and every Leafs fan knew one iron rule all too well: what the Hockey Gods giveth, the Hockey Gods taketh away. And if she believed Madoka's story – and the more she thought about it, the more sense it made – then the only god currently present was wearing a Habs jersey.

_Not good._

″As I was saying, change is coming, and you guys are right at the center of it all. Once you've set this in motion, magical girls all over the world will have their life expectancy drastically increased. Basically, what I want you to do is pretty straightforward: unionize.″

″Unionize? And become corrupt American movie villains? We're not entering _negotiations_ with demons, we just kill them and collect what they leave behind. Bigger groups don't help as much with that as you might think.″

If it wasn't already clear from her remark, Kyouko was pretty nonplussed by this 'revolutionary' idea. She had kind of hoped for something really good. _Don't get your hopes up._ It was one of the first lessons every magical girl learned. Well, either she learned, or she met her premature end. They defined themselves through the concept of Hope, but hoping for too much at any one time would inevitably lead to heartbreak. Once again, Leafs fans and magical girls did have something in common.

 _If even god can't come up a better plan than_ that _, we're truly fucked._

″I'm sure Kaname-san didn't mean it like that. Are you talking about working together on a larger scale than the small groups of girls that we usually form? If so, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I've tried similar things before and … they don't usually work out. Grief cube shortages usually lead to infighting pretty fast. A team of two can extract almost the same amount of Cubes from almost any demon crowd they encounter, without even being noticeably slower than a four-girl team. That's why most of us work in pairs, one veteran and her junior, with those working alone and those with three members already pretty far behind.″

Mami's well-organized brain would, of course, make Kyouko's argument much better than she herself ever could. A pair of magical girls comfortable with working together could take on all but the most dense of demon spawns. (Because, newsflash, demons were pretty dumb.) That usually meant that they lived pretty comfortably, grief cube wise, until they were caught in a really big horde and died. (Because, sadly, demons were not dumb enough to completely forego utilizing far superior numbers.) Thus was life.

And that was almost exactly how Mami and Kyouko had met more than four years ago. Mami had been a group with her own sempai before newly contracted Kyouko came around. Butthat girl had died defending her student against a horde of demons. Kyouko had somehow gotten her out, so the sacrifice of Mami's sempai had not been in vain. Mami had _never_ talked about that incident afterwards, even though she'd taken on the younger Kyouko as her own student. There was a well hidden picture in one of her desk drawers, showing a pretty nondescript, mousy, brown haired girl. To this day, Kyouko didn't even know her name.

Obviously, this was news to Sayaka, who let out a sharp ″What?!″

They probably should've waited with dropping that bombshell for another few months. Very likely, Sayaka would've figured it out soon anyways, when she went out if one of them on her first duo hunting trip. But that was neither here nor there.

 _Later_ , Kyouko sent to her telepathically, urging her to be quiet, for the moment at least. You don't bring a newbie to territorial disputes, exactly because of stuff like this. But normally those are planned in advance, which this meeting decidedly was not.

″You're partially right with your analysis, Mami-san. And, I'm sorry to tell you this as well, but I'm all too aware of how many girls have died because of their failure to coordinate properly.″

Mami seemed intrigued at this. Kyouko was, as always, a little less patient.

″Can't you just state in plain language what you want us to do? Or do we really have to drag every little detail out of you? That's too little divine intervention and too much math class for my taste.″

″Well, for one, in some parts of the multiverse we might just a be a story, and I don't want to come across as a cheap plot device or deus ex machina.″

At this, Madoka stared intently at Kyouko's forehead, as if somebody was in there, looking out through her eyes and reading her thoughts. What a laughable proposition! Soon enough, Kyouko averted her eyes again and let out a short laugh. Madoka, apparently having reached her goal, calmly continued speaking.

″And, secondly, in some timelines, you actually have this idea yourselves, and I didn't want to take anything away from that accomplishment. Just know, that, sooner or later, you would've executed my devious plan to bring peace and prosperity to all magical girls – and, later, humanity – all by yourselves! In most of those timelines you're not hockey fans, though. That always makes everything much less interesting. So I thought I'd interfere a little on your behalf.″

Madoka sighed and cleared her throat.

″As Mami-san helpfully provided already, magical girl teams of more than three seldom make it long. You four having survived for more than six months in your current composition, without too many close calls for any one of you, speaks well of your skills in combat and your coordination capabilities. But what most groups never consider is this: even bigger groups of maybe six to ten members usually need all their members to have a well rounded skill set, with everybody actively hunting akin to a part time job at least, in addition to magical girls being, almost by definition, of general schooling age. There's no room for specialization in abilities, and certainly not for any one girl to acquire funds for the group as whole. Or, at least, for their less fortunate members. I'm guessing you start to reap real benefits from a group size of about fifteen girls. Needless to say, nobody ever tried that after seeing groups of five fail spectacularly.″

Mami was quiet. Sayaka was quiet as well, grumbling a little about having been chastised by Kyouko. Homura was always quiet, but Kyouko didn't think she had actually listened to anything Madoka said. Right now she seemed to try to burrow into the pink-haired girl's body like a sand flea. No matter, Mami could fill her in later. That only begged the question …

″So, what you're saying is: we need to basically start a company with more than ten employees and the best hunters need to go out and risk their lives, while the rest do … other things? Research? Enchanting? Part-time jobs? Bank heists? Most of us aren't runaways with no family like me, you know. You'd need the girls to spend even more time with magical business than they're forced to now. It will be hard to persuade even two girls that something like this could ever be in their best interest, let alone another ten or twelve.″

Madoka smiled.

″I'm not saying it's not going to be hard work on your part. But, if anybody in this world is capable of uniting enough groups under a single banner, it's you two. And Homu-chan and Sayaka-chan to a lesser degree – sorry, girls,″ she said with a nod to both of them.

″I have never been good with people,″ Homura whispered into Madoka's side at that subtle jab, yet still loud enough for all to hear. It probably wasn't the understatement of the year, but it came close. The problem with that, and Kyouko wasn't quite sure yet, was if Homura had tried to lighten the mood with that admission or if she meant to convey something more sinister here.

The red-head had observed Homura's antics over the past hour with worry. After all, positive emotions were what kept them all going, and negative ones could spell out their ends. Over the course of the discussion, Homura had sunk into Madoka more and more. She'd always been obsessive in her insistence on Madoka's existence and the fact that, in her eyes, the other girl had always been as close to perfection as was humanly possible. Kyouko feared what would happen once Madoka decided she'd now divinely intervened enough, and vanish again. Because that was what gods did, right? Right now, they _did_ have enough Cubes on hand, even if Homura slipped into one of her episodes, but that'd mean they'd have to go out hunting soon again, likely without their fourth member, instead of resting up a few days like they'd planned. Some lucky haul!

″Don't worry, err, Madoka-san,″ Sayaka chimed in, disturbing Kyouko from her musings, ″I'm definitely more comfortable with a front-line position anyways. Let these two handle the management part, I'm not interested. Speaking of front-line postings, we should play some shinny sometimes! I'd check you all so hard ...″

″Half a year into her powers and the newbie thinks she could take me – wait a minute. You skate?″ Kyoko asked, a little perplexed. She hadn't known Sayaka would take her interest in the game _this_ far. Blushing slightly, Kyouko remembered the one time she'd tried to take to the ice. She'd _broken her hand_. Breaking a bone after contracting was … a feat virtually unheard of outside of a fight, be it against another contractee or against a demon horde. She could never, ever, let anybody know about this. But she also couldn't ever return to the slippery surface of a frozen lake. If she fell like that again, with witnesses, she'd never live it down.

 _What do you think?_ Mami's private broadcast luckily interrupted her embarrassing thoughts.

 _What can we lose, but our lives,_ was Kyouko's cynical answer. And wasn't that their lot in life anyways? _Sure, Sayaka has helped out quite a bit recently,_ she continued, _but staying on top of team dynamics takes one or two extra Cubes a day, each? What the goddess says about four girl teams is essentially correct. Sooner or later we'll slip up, so why not try something different for once? I'd like to put it to a vote later, once she leaves again._ Kyouko sent back her deliberations. She sincerely hoped Madoka _would_ leave again and not set up camp at either her's or Mami's apartment. Goddess or no, you can't just walk into somebody's life like that. Kyouko refrained back from thinking about what would happen if Madoka moved in with Homura. Would they see those two ever again?

 _You're just accepting her claims? Both about what she is and what she's telling us about larger teams?_ Mami's asked incredulously.

 _Have_ you _ever met somebody else with time stopping powers? Also, she's too secure in herself and knows too much, even if she'd spied on us consistently. And Homura certainly believes it's_ her _Madoka. As we both know, there's no trace at all about that girl anywhere, much less a picture. If she can fool Homura, I believe it's_ that _Madoka, and if it's_ that _Madoka and she can just nilly-willy turn up like that, then she must be a goddess._

 _I'm less sure, but I guess I should trust the Catholic girl on questions of theology,_ Mami answered, a little sarcastic tint in the voice in her head.

 _Instead of making fun of me, please have an eye on Homura. I feel a breakdown coming, and a big one at that._ Kyouko tried to get them both back on track.

″Of course I skate! Does that mean you don't?! How could you ever appreciate what the guys are doing if you never take to the ice?! You can come with me and I'll show you how,″ Sayaka suddenly interrupted their internal musings. High speed telepathy exchanges could mess with your head sometimes, so Kyouko had some problems connecting her girlfriend's words to what they had spoken about last.

 _I can tell you're right, but you'll have to handle it. Our_ apostle _does trust you the most, out of all of us._ Mami interrupted her thoughts, _again_ , complete with yet another quip. As refined as Mami spoke out loud, she couldn't quite hold herself in check telepathically most of the time. For what it was worth, Kyouko liked her better that way.

″Sure thing, we'll go sometimes,″ Kyouko said absentmindedly, before she could get her thoughts in order.

 _Oh no_. Had she really just accepted an invitation for skating? She might just as well take up praying again. She wasn't quite sure to whom she might be praying now, considering the last hour. ″Our Madoka which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name? Please please please don't let me make a fool of myself on the ice.″

Right when Kyouko was finished thinking, Madoka suddenly flashed a brilliant smile at her. _Oh no._

″Whatever we'll eventually decide, _as a team_ ,″ Mami stressed the last words, while getting back to the topic at hand, ″I'd love to sit back and relax a bit and watch the rest of the games, without being interrupted by politics, if it's alright.″

Luckily, after that not too subtle hint, they did just that.

And then, when lunchtime rolled around, there was good news! The Leafs had won, and quite handily at that. The Bruins (having looked neither big, nor particularly bad) had been defeated, and went off the ice with their tails between their legs.

And not too long after that, there came the expected bad news.

″I guess I've intruded on your hospitality long enough now, Mami-san,″ Madoka tried to drop her bombshell gently, but the way Homura suddenly stiffened and held her closer only served to confirm Kyouko's worst fears.

″I thought you'd stay now.″

This time Homura's voice was barely audible, even for Kyouko's enhanced senses.

″Oh Homu-chan, didn't we go over this a few times already.″

A few times? Had Homura had other meetings with the Goddess that she didn't tell them about? Kyouko didn't want to interrupt now, though. Madoka seemed, if nothing else, a gentle spirit, and would probably try her best to stave off Homura's tendencies. Mami and Sayaka obviously thought the same.

″You say 'soon' every time. I've tried, Madoka. I've tried so many times … why won't you let me be with you?″

Wait, what was Homura talking about now? What had she tried?

″I can't. You're still needed.″ Madoka's gentle voice, for the first time this morning, held a subtle hint of emotion. She had been pretty business-like before. Even when cracking jokes at the expense of other teams, there had been a certain sense of formality in her words; as if she was more going through the motions of a certain culture for the sake of negotiations than really meaning it.

″For what?! I'm useless. I've always been useless. It was okay for a time after … a-after you've been gone. I'd expected I wouldn't last this long. But. You. Never. Let me!″

Kyouko had never seen Homura in her present state. Gone was the cold exterior with the occasional glimpses of a caring personality. Instead the girl was sobbing her heart out in the arms of Madoka, screaming her last words into the pink-haired girl's side. Madoka's face showed no emotion and her eyes were as unreadable as they'd been the whole time. But Kyouko imagined she'd seen a flicker of sadness in them, lasting but a split-second. And Kyouko wasn't completely sure, but by now was nonetheless pretty confident that she knew what Homura was talking about.

Homura had always been one of the more emotionally fragile girls in their small group. And there'd certainly been some close calls in the last few months. But Kyouko had never suspected that Homura would've actively orchestrated some (all?) of those. Now, that she thought more about it, there had also been several times when she'd met Homura late at night, patrolling alone, sometimes looking a little ruffled, explaining with a pained expression how she'd run into some demons and just barely escaped alive.

 _Just how hard were you_ really _trying to escape, Homura?_ Kyouko felt a pang of sadness in her heart. They weren't a happy, carefree group of people, but they were usually functional and looked out for each other. You couldn't really expect much more from them, given the life they were living. But how could she – or Mami! – not have picked up on the fact that Homura wasn't merely depressed, but actively suicidal? And had Madoka really interfered with her in this? It certainly didn't seem impossible. Most of the time, a gentle push in one or the other direction was enough to escape a demon's beam, and simple pushes were probably not outside the realm of possibilities for a Goddess.

″You know that's not true. Look at your friends' faces. They don't think so. I don't think so, and I'm kind of omniscient.″

″I don't wanna look. I don't care.″

True to her words, Homura buried her face even harder into Madoka's side.

″I care.″

″You've always cared too much. If you really cared for me, you'd stay.″

 _Woah, easy there, Homura. If Sayaka tried to guilt me like that, I don't even know what I'd do._ True, this whole conversation hadn't really been a simple lover's spat to begin with, but it's usually not the way you talk to a Goddess, right?

″That's unfair, and you know it … I'm sorry, Homu-chan. I really have to go now. Forgive me, please. I'll come back again.″

Madoka placed a gentle kiss against the crying girl's forehead.

″Forgive me,″ she said again. And then she was … just not there anymore? Instead of another girl, Homura was simply leaning against the couch. It had been even faster than a blink. Kyouko felt like an illusion had broken.

And Homura's soul gem ring almost sucked in the light from around her, it was so dark.

″Sayaka! Cubes, stat!″

Sayaka was on her feet in an instant, already tearing open the drawer in which they stored their Grief Cubes. In this case, literally tearing open. Slivers of wood went flying, but Sayaka had grabbed a handful of Cubes and was already pressing them against Homura's gem.

″No. Just let me be.″

Homura's sniffled admission shook Kyouko to her core. A moment's hesitation. What right did she really have to deny Homura? True, the gems provided a much harsher negative feedback loop than most humans would ever experience, but it was still _her_ , wasn't it. Kyouko reached around and took Homura's other hand in hers. Homura wasn't a girl appreciative of much bodily contact – at least as long as your name wasn't Madoka – but she didn't immediately shake her off either.

″She won't let me anyways. Save the Cubes. It doesn't matter.″

″She … won't let you?″

″Would've been too easy. Believe me, I've tried.″

Kyouko believed her. But she didn't motion for Sayaka to remove the Cubes (which were drawing out huge amounts of darkness from Homura's soul gem) anyways. ″Yes, okay, it might not literally kill you, but it certainly isn't healthy.″

″Why didn't you tell us?″ Mami hadn't said anything or moved from her position since Madoka had vanished, not even when Sayaka had destroyed her drawer.

″Wouldn't have mattered.″

″It matters to me.″

This drew a snort from Homura. Kyouko breathed a sigh of relief, accompanied by a small giggle. A little derision towards Mami was such a refreshing expression of normalcy that she couldn't really help herself. Also, in situations like these, who cares about propriety?

″Yeah, well, you usually don't take new information that well.″

″What's that supposed to mean?″

 _Oh, Mami, she's not exactly wrong here,_ thought Kyouko. _Please just let it go._

″Doesn't matter.″

Homura was just mumbling her answers by now, not even falling back on her usual slightly detached, and, to be honest, cold, mannerisms. That those were a mask was obvious to all of them – but, being the proud users of masks just like that themselves, none of them would've ever openly commented on that.

″You didn't really answer the question. Why didn't you ever tell us?″ Instead, Kyouko reiterated Mami's earlier question.

″C'mon, not you as well. You guys could easily go on without me. Don't tell me you've never thought about it. I know you all far better than you know me. Don't think I've never seen you succeed where I fail.″

With this admission, not even Sayaka could keep quiet anymore. Sayaka, who, in more than six months hadn't exchanged more than a few words with Homura.

″Could you stop with the stupid half-answers finally? Just tell us what you've done … and what we've done in all those other timelines you continue to bring up. I guess, after today, it's gonna be hard to just go on thinking you're just fucking with us because it's just who you are as a person.″

Never before had Kyouko seen Homura rise to a challenge quite a quickly as when Sayaka dared to utter these words.

″You want to know? _Now_ you want to know? Now, after you've seen enough proof that you can't just dismiss me as a nutter, like I know you've done before? There's a reason I never talk to you, Miki Sayaka. Not only do I not care about you in the slightest, but you're one of the driving forces behind all that's gone wrong with the world. You really want to know the truth? _You think you can handle the truth?_ ″

She had started softly, but by the end of her tirade, Homura's voice had grown colder than ice. Sayaka seemed kind of taken aback by this development, grasping Kyouko's hand by instinct. Before she had time to answer, the pause in Homura's speech had ended.

″Well, I guess if you're a big girl now, you should be okay with the big girl truths, am I right? Of all the people in this room, I've seen you die the most. In the beginning, I still tried to care. But. You. Never. Listen.″

Homura drew a rasping breath. Kyouko's grip on Sayaka's hand fastened. Maybe it did Homura well to let loose like this once in a while, but she really shouldn't range against another girl like this. Mami wouldn't try to get involved here, so Kyouko would have to stop her before she went too far.

″Sometimes you die for dumb reasons early on. Your close-combat reflexes that you're so proud of? Don't mean shit, failed you more than once. When you survived until meeting Kyouko, there's none of this happily ever after for you like now. You either kill her outright, or you turn into a witch, despite the fact that you're the one who should've understood me. You know what happens when you turn into a witch? Kyouko sacrifices herself to save Madoka and me. You're both dead, but make no mistake, it was all you, all the time. You're a curse, Miki Sayaka, for yourself, and, more so, for all those around you.″

Sayaka's eyes were clearly watering, with her ring losing its bright blue shine and dipping more into some murky, brownish color. Kyouko unconsciously pressed a Grief Cube against her girlfriend's hand, without loosening her grip any. Her voice, when she adressed Homura next, was ice.

″Leave. Leave now.″

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this got real dark, real fast. And that absolutely wasn't planned, but I just went with the muse, I guess. Even my rough outline for the next chapters has been entirely overturned with these revelations, and I'll probably need at least another non-hockey chapter before I can get back on track. Accordingly, I upped the rating to Teen and Up, and added a trigger warning.
> 
> Also, I'm truly sorry that this took much longer than I anticipated. Real life got in the way a little. As I've also said in the comments, I'm currently writing my thesis, but everything having to do with that should be done by May. Then, new job, and, hopefully, a little more time and inspiration again.
> 
> Like I've said in the last A/N, I'm still not really sure where to go with this fic. If the pace with which I'm going now is any indication, it certainly could take a while until the hockey aspect really overtakes the magical girl aspect. I ask you to bear with me, because I really want to get there.
> 
> The last time I updated this, the Leafs weren't second in the Atlantic, and Shanny hadn't just finished one last skate at the Joe. And so many Canadian teams likely or clinched already! (Sorry, Mami.)
> 
> So that's it for now. I'll try to get chapter 3 ready before the end of May, but … we'll see how it goes.
> 
> PS: Gotta recommend Corisanna's ″As N Approaches Infinity″ here. PMMM/Bleach crossover with each new chapter getting me right back into the mood for this fic again.
> 
> PPS: This chapter hasn't been beta'd or even been really edited. So quality is noticeably down from chapter 1. I guess it says something about me that my ″hard and fast″ approach still took several months. There's multiple plot-holes and OOC moments in here, I guarantee it.


	3. Tuesday, October 24th, 2016

After that Sunday, and Homura's outburst, life for the three remaining magical girls in Mitakihara had been a subdued affair. Homura had vanished without a trace. Neither of their aura-sensing had picked up anything, so they were fairly sure no demons had gotten to her. Other than that, it was anyone's guess, when (or if) she'd turn up again.

Right now, Kyouko should still have been furious with Homura. Hadn't they just, not even an hour before her episode, talked about how too big magical girl groups often broke apart because of infighting? Wasn't self-awareness supposed to be this magical (ha!) super-cure for any and all social ailments?

And shouldn't she be enjoying snuggling with her girlfriend, in her own bed (well, technically the bed … and the apartment … and part of her wardrobe … all kind of belonged to Homura's family's estate), much more than this?! Sayaka was a whole other story. She'd hardly said a word to … virtually anybody since Sunday. It had been a small fight to even get her to come over today. Fight was probably an exaggeration, but Kyouko had had to interpret various grunts and ″hn″ sounds until she was almost sure that Sayaka had agreed to come. She'd only been wholly sure when her doorbell had rung a few hours ago.

And then they'd gone to bed without the big, important talk Kyouko had planned. She'd gone all out with the meal, of course (and it had been delicious!), but the redhead was the first to admit, that she wasn't any good at instigating big, important talks, and much better at avoiding them. So they'd both been quietly brooding the whole time. At least she'd thought about bringing some Cubes and applying them to both their Gems. The talk would come, sooner or later. Live in the moment and all that.

With those thoughts still running through her head, she felt Sayaka suddenly stir, turn around, and lock eyes with her, obviously not in the least surprised that she was still awake and thinking. It was an open secret that the both of them more often quietly ″got″ each other than would normally be expected of a couple of two head-strong individuals with rather brash attitudes. Speaking of brash attitudes, Sayaka went right for the kill with her question.

″Why don't you hate me?″

A simple question and most notably not the ″Do you not hate me now?″ that would be expected from the cheap romance manga Sayaka so loved to read on the train. She'd obviously got it through her thick head that there would be no question of ″if″ in this instance, only one about the ″why″. Kyouko briefly thought about if those other versions of themselves would've reached this level of relationship if given enough time … instead of dying in a way almost comically reminiscent of Romeo and Juliet or one of the various other stories about love that ended in tragedy.

″Why would I? Those are other worlds or timelines, or whatever. We both live, here and now. What is there to hate?″

″We were still the same people, in those other timelines. It certainly says something about our … my … character, if I would do such a thing. What makes you so sure I won't snap and try to kill everybody this time around?″

Kyouko sighed. So Sayaka probably had talked herself into believing some kind of _I'm actually an_ _ir_ _redeemable monster_ story. The same girl that was irredeemably loyal to her friends, and, even though she had accepted that the magical girl life wasn't the honorable fight against evil the tricky creature had deceived her to believe in, was still the one most likely to go out of her way to save unlucky bystanders.

″First of all, there are no more witches. If our Gems darken enough, we die. I know. I've seen it happen. What Homura knows about you are your most prominent characteristics after just meeting somebody rubbing you the wrong way, and being freshly thrown into this whole magical girl disaster we call life. But you survived it all and came out stronger. And … if you need to talk, you got people to talk to. You've got Mami. You've got me.″

She couldn't help throwing in the subtle hint and smiled when she saw that cute blush creep along Sayaka's face. Normally she wasn't this easy. Just showed how badly Homura's comments had thrown her out of the loop.

″And I've probably lost us all Homura, forever.″

″ _You_ didn't do anything. Homura's just too good at hiding for her own good. And at bottling up her feelings. She's probably learned many things in those time loops, but coping well is definitely not one of them. I can't even really begrudge her for it. … Don't misunderstand me. I stand behind throwing her out, after she said those awful things to you. But … we should probably start looking for her soon?″

Kyouko felt pretty small, suggesting something like that to the wronged party, but was met with a slight half-smile instead of scorn.

″And people always tell _me_ I've got a knight-in-shining-armor mentality.″

″Hey, you totally do. You've been worried about her since Sunday evening, _at the latest_ , am I right?″

A small affirmative grumbling sound told Kyouko she'd been spot on. Sayaka had buried her face into the read-head's shoulder, finally again searching for the physical contact she'd been avoiding for two days now. They were almost the same height, but the girl in her arms suddenly looked much smaller than her. A few minutes later, they were both sleeping soundly.

* * *

_Flashback: about eight months ago._

″You can't go on living like that.″

Homura's voice was harsh, like usual. Kyouko had to employ supreme self-control not to wince at the sudden interruption of her thoughts from behind. How was Homura so good at sneaking up on people? And finding her in the first place. The arcade was pretty full at this time of day and Kyouko had done everything in her power to mask her magical signature.

″Like that? What do you mean?″

Obviously it would look much cooler not even turning around, but that was not the main reason Kyouko kept staring straight ahead at her game of Tetris. There was a small speck of paint on her left cheek, and Homura would surely immediately pick up on that, if she didn't already know. Well, or if the fact that the red-head wore long jeans and her hoodie up over her head hadn't already given away what happened to Homura's deductive skill. Everybody knew Kyouko never wore more than the socially acceptable bare minimum amount of clothing (and sometimes less), but today both her legs and arms were covered with cloth. No amount of scrubbing had gotten rid of all the stupid paint that had sprayed out from the ATM when she'd blown it open last night. At least the splashes on her magical girl uniform had dematerialized along with the her red coat.

Laying low like this after breaking into an ATM (especially one of the newer ones with the stupid paint) was pretty much standard procedure for the girl. Sure, even if she was ever identified, she'd be able to flee the police pretty easily, but being an actual criminal on the run would make her life much more miserable than it already was. Not that Kyouko could ever admit _that_ in the presence of Homura. Renting hotel rooms with stolen money and buying food was still ways better than literally living under a bridge. The cold obviously wouldn't bother Kyouko that much, but … bathing in a hot tub or a public bath was one of the few luxuries she usually could afford, even now, and it wouldn't do to give that up.

″Committing crimes for mere survival. The humans won't pick up on it, but you show up on several CCTV recordings from Mittsubashi Station before you used your illusion abilities on the cameras closer to the bank branch.″

Homura was entirely too resourceful in basically every regard. How had she even gotten wind of her newest conquest _and_ had had the time to screen those recordings in the few hours since it happened?! Kyouko turned around to face her interrogator. It made no sense to hide the speck of color if Homura was already _this_ well informed.

″Ha, 'mere survival'? You do what you gotta do to survive. Don't tell me money makes all that much difference in that regard for _us_. And I probably got more money on hand right now than you, little heiress.″

Homura was quiet a little longer than Kyouko would've expected, apparently mulling over something that she said. As she'd just stated the obvious, she wasn't quite sure what it was. Maybe her enigmatic acquaintance just had to think about a different angle to go after next.

″Be that as it may. For how long, do you think, will your 'haul', as you like to call it, last, this time? Security for ATMs has already visibly tightened since you started breaking them more often. You're jumpy in civvies. The last few hunts you haven't pulled your weight.″

Okay, those three seconds of thinking definitely had helped Homura hit home. Nobody liked to be told she was dead weight. Kyouko was on the verge of making a run for it, just to get out of this conversation, but she also knew that Homura had a knack for finding people who didn't want to be found. Case in point: they were having this conversation right now. Maybe offense would be the best defense in this game of cat and mouse? She wondered how their spat must've looked from the outside. Teenage girls casually talking about being survival and pulling your weight on the hunt was surely strange to the average onlooker? Probably? Once you contract, the lines between normal and grotesque become blurry so fast.

″Yeah, so. Why the fuck would you even care? If I mess up, I die, you're rid of me. That's what you want, isn't it?″

″Please don't act like this, Sakura-san. It is unbecoming for a being dependent on Hope to talk about giving up like that. Furthermore, as you are well aware: if you're not at 100%, the risk for Tomoe-san and me rises as well. But I am not here to discern your reasons for living the way you live. I am here to show you a way out. My family is running a foundation for cases like yours. With information I uncovered recently, I am fairly certain I can get you into the program, Sakura-san. You would be provided with an apartment and a small stipend to cover for living expenses. The only prerequisite would be that you enroll in school once more.″

Well, school didn't sound fun at all, but Kyouko had actually listened up at that. The offer almost sounded too good to be true, which, going by experience, meant it probably was. And what kind of material had Homura 'uncovered'? She actually was on pretty good terms with Homura, generally speaking. Better than Mami was, at least. But Homura uncovering information still sounded kind of ominous in her ears. The girl had a tendency of keeping secrets and divulging them only at the most inopportune moments.

″I refuse.″

″Can you provide specifics as to why?″

″I already told you. Everything's going great for me. My life is mine and mine alone. I certainly won't become your dog that does tricks for a chance at some scraps from the table.″

Homura visibly sighed at that, looking slightly exasperated, folding her arms – and in that very moment, a strange thought entered Kyouko's mind: exasperated Homura actually looked pretty cute. Being scrutinized by an exasperated Homura brought out her eyes really well, too! _Stop it! Bad thoughts, Kyouko!_ Where had that all come from so suddenly? If her thoughts went further in that direction, she'd probably start blushing with no apparent reason and that certainly wouldn't strengthen her bargaining position. Given how often Homura was exasperated in her dealings with Kyouko, this could also spell trouble for the future.

″I have no say in foundation matters, apart from getting you in, and I will have to use magical means even for that. Participants are registered with the government. Getting you expelled from the program again would be no easy feat, even with considerable magical intervention. I simply lack the resources necessary. Please at least consider this possibility. I have brought some pamphlets as well ...″

* * *

With a start, Kyouko woke up. Sayaka was still cuddled up against her, sleeping tightly, and, looking at the clock, she knew why. It was just past 5 am. But Kyouko was pretty sure she knew where to find Homura. She wasn't sure how long she'd likely be there, though. Slowly and carefully extracting her body from Sayaka's grip, she got up, transformed, and jumped out of the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, a little shorter than usual. In other news: THE LEAFS BEAT THE CAPS. In the playoffs. Well, in one game of a series. But it means they actually made the playoffs. And they didn't look entirely like the underdog in both games. It's something!
> 
> But back to the story at hand. Trying to resolve a little bit of the tension from the last chapter here, which went a little darker than I originally intended. Hopefully the characters are still at least kind of believable. And a little bit of Kyouko-Homura backstory (not like that ... well, not much like what you're thinking). Hope you all enjoy!
> 
> This week's shoutout goes to moribundbunny's Negated Universe Misadventures (on ff.net), which made me laugh in a writing pause. Second shoutout to Yagate Kimi ni Naru, a very interesting manga I read recently.
> 
> PS: Even less editing went into this chapter than into the last one. I hope it's still readable.


	4. Interlude: Omake 1

With a yelp, Sayaka shot up straight from her dreams, stirring up Kyouko in the process, who couldn’t manage more than a sleepy “Whazzup!?” before being violently shaken (more) awake by her girlfriend.

“Kyouko! Kyouko, wake up, I just had the most awesome dream! You gotta listen to this, it’s gold!”

Still half asleep, Kyouko’s eyes were already beginning to droop again. A short look towards the clock confirmed what she’d been fearing. It was 4:20 am. This dream of Sayaka’s would probably be about as intelligible as Kyouko’s thoughts were when she bought that green stuff to smoke one time. Luckily, Sayaka interrupted her trip down memory lane with the beginning of her own story.

“Stay awake now! Okay, listen. So, you’re a good Catholic girl, right? So, when I’m, like, making mistakes, you gotta correct me, alright?”

“Sayaka, I’ve not been religious for years now. We both know there is no God but Madokami.”

Huh? Where did _that_ come from?

“Nono, that’s beside the point. Anyways. So. We were both, like, girl priests! (Are there girl priests?) And we were like special investigators for the Vatican! Can you imagine?!”

Kyouko could all but groan at that. This happened about once every three months. The first episodes of summer seasonal anime came out last week. And every time, Sayaka would have dreams like this, where she imagined herself and her friends as the protagonists of some inane plot.

“Sayaka, there are no girl priests in the Catholic Church.”

“There aren’t? Well, we should change that! Anyways, so we’re special investigator priests, and we get called by Mami-san, who’s, like, a brishoff or something … wait, what were those called again?”

“A bishop.”

“Right, yeah, so Mami-bishop-san calls us and tells me ‘Sayaka-chan! You’re our best investigator! Take your kouhei Kyouko-chan with you and go to South America. There’s been reports of a miracle. This order came directly from Madoka-pope-chan!’”

“So in your fantasies, you’re my senpai and Madoka is the pope?”

“Of course. Also, wait for what happens next!”

“Do I have a cho-choo-chooooice?” Kyouko asked with a yawn.

“No. So, we, like, take our private jet and jet to South America. And guess who we meet there!”

“Homura.”

_A private jet? Sayaka, I hope you don't expect me to provide you with amenities in that price range._

“No, it’s Homura! Wait- … how did you know that?”

“She’s not come up yet in this dream. Let me guess. She’s a demon and you exorcise her.”

“Gaaah, don’t spoil my dream!! It’s Homura, and she’s like a nun or something. But I immediately notice that something’s off about her. Anyways, she takes us to the miracle site, and she’s always whispering under her breath and grinning evilly.”

“Sure took you a lot of deducing to work out that she might be evil, huh.”

“Yes! Only the great Sayaka-chan could’ve solved this mystery. So then I exorcise her, and you’re all like ‘Senpai, you’re so cool!’ and I’m like ‘Aww, shucks, it was nothing.’ and then we make out on the altar.”

With a heavy sigh, Kyouko pulled Sayaka down again.

“I don’t know how many Catholics you just offended just by _having_ a dream like that, and, honestly, I don’t really care. But, can we _please_ go back to sleep now?”

Pulling her girlfriend even closer, Kyouko whispered into her ear: “And if that’s your kink, I’m sure we can arrange a make-out session on an altar.”

_After a good night's sleep, at least._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I know I haven’t updated in a while. As is so often the case, life just got in the way.
> 
> So, I was watching the first episode of Vatican Kiseki Chousakan and, honestly, this isn’t much less ridiculous. Also, shout out to Maitake and his *kano doujinshi on dynasty-scans. Those gave me life.
> 
> The next chapter is almost ready though! (I’m just not really happy with it yet.) But it’s definitely coming soon™!


	5. Tuesday, October 24th, 2016, pt. 2

″Hey″, Kyouko quietly greeted Homura. The other girl was sitting at the edge of the small river beside the nearly golden path Sayaka often took to school. The school Kyouko was officially enrolled at, as well … even though her attendance numbers would probably give most administrators a small heart attack. But back to the matter at hand.

Homura hadn't moved or reacted in any way to Kyouko's call. She just sat there, unseeing, her head resting against her folded legs, looking out towards the other side of the canal basin. There was a bench nearby, but Homura had instead chosen the cold, heard ground to sit on. The sun slowly began to announce itself, with the barest red hue visible just above the tree crowns. There were street lamps, but Homura's spot was (probably willfully) chosen right in the middle between two of them. So she'd been sitting in silent darkness for who knows how long.

Equally silent, Kyouko just sat down to Homura's right. Mostly so she could observe her Gem in its ring form. As she'd expected, it looked extremely murky, but probably fine if Homura used a few Cubes before attempting a transformation, or … basically any amount of magic, again.

″Okay, so, as you well know, I'm not one for these talks, but even I've picked up on the fact that you sometimes kinda listen when I'm talking, and Mami's always on my case that she's getting nothing out of you, and I should try and stuff, because of team building or to tap into the power of friendship or … fuck if I know.″

Homura let out a small noise, possibly a sigh or a grunt, at that.

 _Wow. Kyouko, you are a fucking natural at talking to mentally unstable people. There's a possible job for you! I'm fairly sure you'll only get a suicide rate slightly above 50%!_ Homura's grunt was kind of encouraging, though. First of all, because she hadn't vanished yet. And second, because getting a reaction, _any_ reaction, probably counted as a win in situations like these? Maybe she should tell a funny joke next? Well, the first thing that came to mind …

″See, I know it's hard. But Carey can't bail them out every night. Hell, I'm coming off a full season of Bernier.″

The slow sidewards glance her 'joke' earned Kyouko, was worthy of a demon and would've been able to freeze the river Styx all on its own. Okay. Time to be serious. She'd brought three packs of pocky for a reason. Ripping open the first one and munching away on a stick of Sakura flavor (who cared about what was 'in season' anyway?!), Kyouko began to talk about what she'd planned to tell Homura for a while now.

″Since late March, I've sometimes been having dreams. Very vivid dreams. Mostly about pretty inane things, like me eating apples in my church. Sometimes about meeting Sayaka, and fighting her. I feel emotions in those dreams. Strong emotions. When I'm fighting Sayaka, I really mean it, at first. I'm going in there playing with her a little, and then I intend to kill her.″

Kyouko picked up a crumb of pocky that had landed on her crossed legs, and snipped it into her mouth.

″Once, I remember some pretty fucked up scenery just … breaking down around me. Like a dream in a dream. And then I'm staring into one of Mami's guns. And then I hear a gunshot and I'm out. Or that one time in another one of those weird dream-in-a-dream worlds, and I'm going up against some kind of giant knight who's throwing burning cartwheels at me. But I'm having none of it! I overcharge my Gem or something, I'm not even sure what exactly I'm doing, but I'm aware all the time that I'm not gonna survive it.″

She was going through the pocky faster than anticipated. The first pack was almost empty, so she quickly ripped open pack number two while emptying the last few crumbs of the Sakura flavor one into her mouth. A quick sidewards glance at Homura confirmed that she was still listening, if not actively participating in the 'conversation'.

″And that time, I can actually kinda feel my own lights going out. Let me tell you: dying in a dream is a pretty fucked up experience. Now I know that those are probably not dreams, right? All those things really happened, and you probably remember me – us – dying, or, uhm, killing each other, over and over. And it's that much more real for you, not being a dream and all.″

Before she took out another stick of dark chocolate coated pastry, Kyouko let out a heavy sigh.

″This doesn't make it okay holding those memories of us over our heads, though. I'm pretty sure Sayaka has had some as well, and, by the way she wakes up from them, I believe hers are worse than mine.″

″If she remembers her time as a witch, or shortly before transforming, I don't doubt that.″

Her quiet voice was lacking in some of its usual qualities, as it sounded more dark humorous than emotionless and more contemplative than planned and executed with pin-point precision.

″Glad you came into this conversation! It's so unlike me to bare myself to other people, so I guess it's your turn now. So when'd you start trying to off yourself?″

Surprisingly, this even drew a short laugh from the other girl. Kyouko wasn't sure if she'd ever heard Homura laugh before. Or casually answer her oh so casually asked question.

″About two months ago. I jumped from the Hokennai Insurance Tower in the financial district. My wings saved me about ten meters from the ground.″

Kyouko swallowed, slightly taken aback.

″Then I tried drowning in the sea. Did you know we don't really need to breath? Our bodies bleed when they're cut. We can break bones. We have a heartbeat. But we can actually stop that! And breathing! It takes a few tries, and there's a minuscule associated magic cost. But a magical girl can probably survive a few days underwater until she needs to recharge with a few Cubes.″

Kyouko kept staring straight ahead, not dissimilar to how she had found Homura. It was one thing to know her … friend had tried to kill herself. But quite another to hear how she'd gone about it – now back again in Homura's classic emotionless style.

″Then I figuratively hit myself over the head. I should know better than to think I was still human. So I took out a Beretta and shot my Gem.″

Unconsciously Kyouko put one hand protectively over her ring. Where had Homura gotten a gun from? Those weren't exactly effective against demons, which was why every magical girl was outfitted with a magical weapon – or at least a weaponizable magical ability, like Mami's ribbons.

″The bullet simply ricocheted off. I emptied my whole magazine, but no change. I tried with my bow, but the arrow was absorbed. I should obviously have seen that coming. Our own magic seems unable to hurt us in this world, because we can recognize the aura and instinctively absorb any stray magical outbursts again. My preliminary analysis suggests that your self-destructive final move probably won't work here, Sakura-san.″

Homura said that last part with a genuinely troubled expression. _'It happened once in a dream' is truly good enough for me here_ , was all Kyouko could think at that moment.

″A headshot wasn't enough either. I was knocked out for a few hours until my Gem repaired my body and then went to look for some demons. My wings absorbed all of their attacks. They seem to constitute some kind of absolute defense. The demons soon lost interest and the whole horde tried to move on. Naturally, I disposed of them after their efforts proved dissatisfactory. I tried with larger and larger hordes after that, because I thought there might be a limit. But there is no limit.″

If only there had been a crazed look in Homura's face, or even just simple glee at telling her all these ways to kill herself, Kyouko would've felt more at ease. With an empty expression she could’ve lived. But the more Homura talked, the more it felt like she'd been going on a science project spree instead of looking for suitable suicide options. Kyouko would bet money that there was a journal involved, full of meticulous notes in Homura's flowing script. And many hard kanji. Kyouko had continued studying for a bit after first dropping out of school after her family's death, but she wasn't quite at the level of an average high-school first-year (a fact that seemed to amuse Sayaka endlessly), and Homura's notes usually read like taken by a grandma.

″Originally, I wanted to move for the most apparent option sooner, but Mami-san and you keep track of the team's Gem status rather well. So, when I went to Tokyo last month for my family's estate, I exhausted myself completely and just waited. Maybe I'd even get to meet whatever is left of her inside of the Goddess? My Gem turned completely black. Now that I think of it, it looked just like a Grief Seed at that moment. But the only thing that happened, was that I was detransformed and couldn't use any abilities. I had enough Cubes to recharge for a small hunt and that was that. So, there you have it. You don't need to worry about me. I cannot be killed, nor can I die of my own volition. She doesn't want me to, and what She wills happens. She is our Law and there is no escape.″

Kyouko didn't know if Homura would appreciate it, but at that very moment she honestly couldn't think of anything else to do, and so she awkwardly wrapped one arm around the other girl's shoulders.

″You know, I've always assumed I was the most cynical of us-″, she started.

″And now you've learned that you're not? I could've told you this truth a long time ago.″ Homura didn't flee from her embrace like Kyouko had expected, but neither did she lean into her or return it, or do anything that most people in her situation would do. She just continued sitting there like a rock. And that wasn’t an entirely metaphorical assertion. Her body felt more like a simple mass of stone than a human right now. Unmoving, unyielding, with nothing left to gain, and, more importantly and making everything all the more desolate, nothing left to _lose_.

″You make it sound like you hate her. Mado-″

″Please, do not use Her name when She is not with us. Or rather, when we cannot interact with Her. I'm sure She _is_ here, in some way or another.″ Kyouko had been so taken aback by Homura's short laugh earlier on, that she hadn't seen her face until it had reverted back to its usual emotionless mask. But the sad smile surfacing now, illuminated by the early morning light, she didn't miss. ″And I could never hate Her. When She showed herself to us this Sunday, I felt elated, alive … I cannot remember when last I've felt so alive. I recognize now that my emotions afterwards might have gotten the better of me. Please convey my regrets about what I said to Miki-san.″

″Do I look like a messenger girl to you? You should apologize yourself″, Kyouko said, very slightly offended, but still quietly and without rescinding her support. However hurt Sayaka might have been by those words, what Homura went through to even get them all here … well, it didn't excuse her behavior. But … Kyouko's little blue-haired knight would probably understand.

″Me apologizing to Miki-san never works out very well.″

″Maybe this is something you could start to work on? We're not the same people you remember. These days, we can change, and learn, month to month and, hey, probably even year to year. Because we're a good team, and we'll just show them all and survive until we're old hags and can't fight anymore.″

Homura looked up at that incredulously.

″You are aware that we don't age, I presume?″

″Didn't we just go over this? You're no longer in the time-loop-″

Homura interrupted her again: ″You misunderstand. Magical girls. We do not age.″

″I contracted at age eleven. Look at me now. Do I look eleven?″

Homura lifted one eyebrow. There she was again, the old Homura they all knew. Or at least had thought they knew. Real understanding took time, and, going by Sunday's spat, they weren't quite there yet.

″Of course. You expected to age, and so you age. You don't have to, if you don't wish to. It is even unlikely that your current form would have been the same had you not contracted. We are so easily influenced by what we perceive our ideal forms to be″, Homura said with a heavy sigh.

Kyouko shook her head at yet another revelation, additionally one that Homura had just let drop absolutely matter-of-factly. Did she really look different now than if she had never contracted? She'd have grown up an entirely different person, for sure, but she'd always felt that was more a personality issue. Her red hair had been more muted before she was approached by Kyuubei, if she remembered correctly. It did seem awfully convenient now, especially considering her color theme in costume.

Then again, blue hair wasn't all that common in the first place and Sayaka would surely have noticed a difference in hue by now. And Kyouko would forever notice any differences in that cute face of hers.

Wait, did she just really think that. _Whatever. I don't even care anymore. Nobody can escape thought_ _s!_ Obviously, these inner declarations didn't stop her from suddenly blushing. At least Homura would never interpret something like that in a misguided way. Her whole world revolved around a certain pink-haired Goddess, and there certainly wasn't a place for anything (or anybody) else in that.

Homura, after studying Kyouko's face for a moment, switched topics again.

″How did you find me, by the way? I would have expected you at other places I've visited over the past few days, but certainly not here.″

Homura quickly shook off Kyouko's hand and was in the process of getting up. Kyouko also jumped to her feet, mumbling a bit, as she _really_ didn't want to talk about the reason she had just suddenly known where to find the other girl. Knowing Homura, she'd certainly draw it out of her anyways.

″I had a dream-″

″About this place?!″

Obviously Homura was fast on the uptake, yet again, and was measuring her up and down, through her signature half-closed lids. The transition from suicidal riverbank dweller to sharp-minded investigator had happened almost too fast.

″No … about that time you talked me into joining your family's stupid program.″

″How would a dream of the arcade on the other side of the city lead you here?″

The line of questioning made it almost a sure thing now. That other dream had also happened.

″It reminded me of something. It wasn't a dream or anything, but it suddenly felt like this was a place of some significance for you, obviously, but also for us. Like, our relationship.″

It hadn't been a dream, per se, that much was true. All Kyouko remembered, were some hazy images of meeting Homura here once (which she _knew_ she had never done before, at least not in this timeline). It had been a very short meeting, and the 'memories' gave her the distinct impression that she hadn't come out of it alive. Her thoughts must have been visible in her face, because Homura wearily looked at her, and with her next words clearly tried to dissuade Kyouko from digging further.

″I don't think it would be in your best interests to fully remember that exchange.″

″If it's important, I wanna know. Who cares what happened. It's not gonna happen again.″

″I dare say it won't. At the very least, in my opinion, it seems highly unlikely, for which I am very glad.″

Homura didn't exactly dispel Kyouko's apprehension. This seemed important, and she tried to wrack her brain for more clues. But all she got back was the vague feeling of unease that she'd felt ever since coming here.

″But maybe you really ought to know. Please be aware that what I am about to tell you might unlock traumatic memories of yours. I assume you brought some Cubes for me? You might have to use them on yourself.″

Kyouko nodded and tried to brace herself for the impact of … words? Just how soft had she grown these last few months?!

When Homura opened her mouth next, however, it disabused her of the notion that a mere few words shouldn’t really have too much of an impact on people really fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Errrm. Yeah. So, “new chapter coming soon” turned out to be more than six months. I’ve rewritten this thing like … three times at least. (But at least now my thesis is done and turned in, so it should be going more smoothly again. Famous last words and all.) I’m still not actually happy with the outcome, but I’m putting this up now anyways. Maybe it’ll motivate me to invest more time into this again. I’ve come up with quite a lot of awesome ideas for this story during the long times I didn’t actively write anything and I certainly want many of those to see the light of day.
> 
> The season that started it all is long over, the Pens won it again and we’re about 75% through the season after. But oh well. We’ll see where it goes.
> 
> Shoutout to [this awesome AMV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvvxEVNMTzw), which made me laugh so hard. And that's why I wrote at least the first thousand words of the first version of this chapter to the tune of Timber.
> 
> Also @magureatari aka thatamazingpineapple made some awesome fanart for this story!! Please check it out: [Kyouko having none of it](https://thatamazingpineapple.tumblr.com/post/165525490555/hockey-morning-in-mitakihara-by-shacklesburst) and [Homura in Habs gear](https://thatamazingpineapple.tumblr.com/post/165599290645/akemi-homura-forward-montreal-canadiens-hockey) and [Kyouko in Leafs gear](https://thatamazingpineapple.tumblr.com/post/171019790715/sakura-kyouko-defense-toronto-maple-leafs)!!


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